giving back

Why do I dislike the phrase “giving back?” After all, it’s usually a benevolent context: often, a multi-millionaire rock star or hockey player giving some kind of charitable donation or service to the community. What could possibly be wrong with that?
     Some background: I dislike tropes, those overused phrases that suddenly appear everywhere. For example, the “COVID-19 Pivot” phrase that was used during the early pandemic, particularly in health care and education. Previously, the word pivot evoked, for me, either a basketball manoeuvre, or the hilarious episode of “Friends” where Ross shouts “PIVOT. PIVOT,” while the group of friends moves a couch. Suddenly in 2020, pivot became a euphemism used by those in upper echelons, trying to make us all think that a complete, unprecedented change in our lives and workplaces was just a little thing, a slight turn, a tweak. The reality, of course, being that it felt more volcanic. The “COVID-19 total upheaval and shit show” doesn’t sound quite the same, but is more accurate.

In addition to tropes, I dislike repetition in general. I recognize the irony of this dislike, given my teen years of practicing piano for hours at a time, repeating complicated phrases so endlessly that one time my father shouted from the TV room, “please just play the whole bloody piece!”
     All this to say, having a pre-made dislike for tropes and repetition, “giving back” rubs my fur the wrong way. My main argument being: why can’t you just give? Why must you give back? Lurking in this phrase is the assumption that you have been given something. The community, your parents, your school, your mandolin teacher, whatever. You’ve been given something, and now you’re giving back. First question: giving back what? The term, standing alone, doesn’t sound quite right. There’s an object missing. When did “giving back” become a verb distinct from simply “giving?” Second question: why should giving only be in response to what you have been given?
     Everyone’s success depends on others. At some point, it’s wonderful and appropriate to acknowledge those who have helped you along the way. But you can also give to those who had nothing to do with your success: younger people, those in need, those just starting out in your field. They’ve done nothing specific, does that mean you shouldn’t give to them? Of course not. But you can’t “give back” to those who’ve given you nothing.
     An easy argument you could pose is: Who cares? If someone wants to give of themselves–time, money, expertise–why question it, why give any negative feedback whatsoever? I accept that argument, except there always seems to be that smugness, that look-at-me-and-my-fame, that photo-op side of things. “It just feels so good to give back.” #such-a-nice-person.
     Give, everyone. Give as much as you can. Give your skills, your time, your support, your money if you have it. Give unconditionally, unless you are making some kind of investment. Don’t make it about you, make it about them. Don’t give back, just give, because giving is a good thing and makes everything better.
     That kind of repetition I can handle.