manifesting the future

In the book Manifesting with Purpose (Friesen, Lowrance, Plancon, West 2023), the four authors discuss their experiences achieving individual desires through positive thinking, imagery, deliberate action, and affirmations. It’s an appealing premise, that we can control our futures in this way. Perhaps, we think, success is not just luck, or timing, or privilege, but a by-product of purposeful thoughts and intention. I’ve read articles in which sports psychologists guide their Olympic athletes through imagery–over and over–of a perfectly-executed race or performance, to increase the chance of success.
         There are two things that bother me about this generally appealing manifestation concept. First, of course not all the Olympic athletes win. Some get sick, or injured, fall at the start line, or simply have a bad performance. Does that mean they didn’t try hard enough to manifest their win? This line of thinking leads to the “who wants it most?” approach to success. More likely, there was a combination of factors that just didn’t go their way. Not everyone can win all the time.
          Second, what about the corollary, when bad things happen? Are those a product of manifestation also? Did I manifest my own illness?   

Age 55 is not considered an early-onset rectal cancer, but it certainly feels young, and not just to me. People say things like “but you’re so young,” or “but you’re so healthy!” knowing that I am a runner and triathlete, that I eat well, don’t smoke, and keep a healthy weight. There’s no family history. Why, then, is this happening to me? (And side point: If I was not young and lifestyle conscious, would it then be “fair” to have cancer?)
          When people say things like “it must have been your stressful job,” it makes me feel I have caused my own illness. We know that stress can cause health problems. On the other hand, lots of people have stressful work, and physicians are in fact a bit less likely to develop cancer than others, due perhaps to recognition of early signs, or generally healthy lifestyles. Many of my patients had hugely stressful lives, living with financial instability, addictions, abuse, heavy caregiving roles, and lack of control in their lives. Most of them did not develop cancer despite overwhelming stress.
          Did I manifest my rectal cancer? Was it the way I boldly microwaved food in plastic containers, even after we’d been told to only use glass or ceramics, saying “hey, you have to die of something”? Was it my response to the “pink” breast cancer campaign, where I said of course breast cancer deserves research, but what about all the other cancers? “What about the poor people with bum cancer?” I said to my kids, fifteen years ago (true story). Was it the way I endorsed Ezekiel J. Emanuel’s 2014 article in the Atlantic, “Why I hope to die at 75?” Was it the way my medical colleagues and I would joke that we needed “just a touch of cancer” so that we could take a week off and rest?
          Maybe my illness was due those things, but more likely it was not. Most likely of all, a genetic mutation occurred, that we may find but never explain. One that I certainly did not personally manifest.
          Thinking positively, taking deliberate steps toward a goal, having self-confidence and self-awareness and gratitude are all good things, and likely do make future achievements possible. But sometimes things don’t work out, or bad things happen. Unless we deliberately self-sabotage, that’s not some kind of reverse/negative manifestation: it’s just life.
Imperfect, undulating life.