is chivalry really patriarchy?

In the Netflix show Loudermilk, the main character (a man in his forties), holds the café door open for a young attractive woman, then complains loudly when, now ahead of him in line, she gives a long, complicated coffee order.
“I held the door for you!” he gripes.
“Yes, but just because I’m hot.” she replies.
 
Is chivalry just another word for patriarchy? Pulling out the chair, holding the door, carrying the bag…is there not a suggestion of weakness, fragility, disability? “That looks heavy, let me get that for you.” Insert optional bicep flex. Or, as insinuated in the scene above, is it all about “If I do this, I’ve got a chance?” Either way, I don’t like the implications. Of course, if my arms are full, and someone holds the door, that’s great. But shouldn’t we do that for everyone, regardless of gender? Isn’t everyone equal?

Read More